Toothbrushing for Toddlers!

Meagan Ledendecker • October 24, 2022

In Montessori, we put a lot of emphasis on young children learning basic self-care skills. A big part of self-care is something we do every day, at least twice a day: brushing our teeth! This is a tricky one, though, because we want to teach independence while also ensuring that our children’s teeth are clean and cavity-free.

Because COVID has brought about some shifts in the practical life activities that traditionally happen in our early childhood classrooms, we thought we would combine a “materials spotlight” with a little “how to at home.”

It’s important to remember that when we introduce toothbrushing, we are not only helping young children develop lifelong oral hygiene habits, but we are also helping them develop a sense of capability. As parents and caregivers, we partner in the process so that years later our children haven’t become dependent upon us for a necessary skill.

In showing and supporting toothbrushing, we want to really isolate and slow down each part of the process. As adults, we often move quickly through the activity. We don’t have to think about the separate steps of what we are doing, because we can rely upon habit and muscle memory. Young children, however, are consciously working through each component. Thus, we have to be very intentional about demonstrating the procedure. In the process, we also highlight what we call “points of interest” which are like little benchmarks that focus children’s attention and help them remember key components.

As with all practical life activities, we want the experience to be meaningful and embedded in a real-life context. Thus, we introduce toothbrushing when it makes sense: after eating!

After enjoying a snack or a meal, we invite a child to the sink to brush their teeth. We often make a point of noticing that we have just eaten and want to clean our teeth, so the child makes the connection of why we are going to use a toothbrush.

Small travel-size toothbrushes work well for children. The toothbrushes can have a case or small enclosure for the toothbrush head and some way to designate which brush belongs to which child (such as a photo of the child). We start by modeling taking our own toothbrush out of the holder and placing it on an empty tray.

Depending upon the child and their age, we might have the child try each step right after we show it. Or if the child is a little older, we may show a series of steps and then invite the child to try. One of the gifts of Montessori is that we can tailor each activity to a child’s needs and temperament.

After the child takes their toothbrush and puts it on the tray, the adult selects a toothpaste container and shows how to open and close it. Because we want the child to only use a small amount of toothpaste, it can be helpful to prepare individual portions of toothpaste. Contact lens holders work quite well for this.

After demonstrating how to select, then open and close the toothpaste container, the adult places it on the tray with their toothbrush and invites the child to select their own toothpaste container, open and close it, then place it on the tray. One critical detail is closing the toothpaste container. We aren’t ready to use the toothpaste yet, so having the container closed helps communicate that we aren’t ready to use toothpaste. We are just making sure that the child knows how to access the toothpaste.

At this point we are getting everything set up, so we want to have the layout prepared for all the steps, including rising our mouths with water after toothbrushing. In the classroom setting, we’ll often have a small pitcher of water and small glasses turned upside down, but at home often just a small glass will suffice. Ideally, the glasses look different from regular drinking glasses because this water will be used for rising rather than drinking. Because this process often happens in the bathroom, small stainless-steel cups work well. Regardless, we next select a glass or cup and pour a small amount of water from the pitcher into it so that the cup is about 1/4 full. We place the cup on the tray with our toothbrush and invite the child to pour water into their own cup and place it on the tray.

Now that everything is set up, we open the toothpaste container and leave it open on the tray. We pick up our toothbrush and wipe bristles into toothpaste. It can be helpful to show how to hold the toothpaste container with one hand while getting toothpaste on the bristles of the brush.

We then place the toothbrush down on the tray and use both hands to close the toothpaste container. The child can also have a turn preparing their toothbrush with toothpaste.

The materials are ready, so it is time to demonstrate brushing teeth! This is best done slowly and with a wide-open mouth. We start on one side, perhaps the left, brushing our top teeth with clear, deliberate downward strokes. We then pause and brush underneath those top teeth. Pausing again, we then move to the back of our left top teeth with downward strokes. Staying on the same side, we brush our left bottom teeth with upward strokes, then the tops of those teeth, then the backs. We pause between each section and repeat on our right side.

At the end, we brush our tongue lightly. Then we place our toothbrush onto the tray. With almost a bit of exaggeration, we make sure the child sees that we need to spit the toothpaste into the sink. After ridding our mouth of the excess toothpaste, we then pick up the glass and take some water into our mouth. We swish the water around and around and then spit right into the center of the sink, repeating if necessary. It’s nice to also have a small cloth or hand towel to model drying our mouth after this process.

We rinse the toothbrush under the faucet for a few seconds and tap the toothbrush on the side of the sink to get excess water off the brush. Then we invite the child to have a turn with the toothbrushing, spitting, and rising.

At the end, we return our toothbrush to its holder. One at a time we take the used items, the toothpaste container and the cup, to the dirty dish cart to be washed. After the child takes their used items to the dirty dish cart, or at home perhaps another appropriate place, we invite them to brush their teeth whenever they would like to clean their teeth.

Depending upon the child’s engagement while presenting this activity, we may determine different points of interest by using a pause, slightly exaggerating the movement, or merely showing our own intense interest. Some possible points of engagement for toothbrushing can include getting toothpaste on the toothbrush, the downward or upward brushing strokes, swishing water to rinse our mouth, spitting into the sink, or tapping the toothbrush on the side of the sink.

In a school setting, the adult will model and allow the child to practice brushing teeth independently. At home, it’s also best to establish an understanding that at key times, for example in the morning and in the evening, the adult will be taking a turn to help ensure the child’s teeth are clean. For example, during the evening routine, the child gets a chance to clean their teeth, and then they know you, as a parent or caregiver, will then do a final toothbrushing for them. This can be done by putting your hand over the child’s and continuing the brushing process after the child is done, or by just asking the child to hand you their toothbrush when they are done so that you can have a turn brushing their teeth.

The important thing to remember is that we want to support young children as they build the manual dexterity necessary for this important self-care skill. Just like we wouldn’t do all the coloring for them when they want to use crayons, we don’t want to do all the toothbrushing for them when they are learning to use the toothbrush. We want to give the message that they are capable and can practice cleaning their teeth. At home, we also want to make sure they understand that because dental hygiene is so important, we will also have a turn making sure their teeth are clean.

We hope you have great success at home! Let us know how it goes. And if you need some inspiration, you are always welcome to schedule a tour to see how we support children’s development of self-care skills, as well as their sense of capability.

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By Meagan Ledendecker • March 2, 2026

March 1 marks Baby Sleep Day, so we thought we’d take a moment to reflect on the alignment between Montessori philosophy and modern sleep science. In Montessori, we focus on independence as a path toward self-sufficiency. This is a gradual, mindful process of becoming capable. For our youngest children, this journey begins with mastery of the most fundamental human needs: eating, toileting, and sleeping. These areas matter deeply because they are ultimately under a child’s control. No one can make a child eat, use the toilet, or sleep. Our role, then, is not to force outcomes but to remove obstacles. As adults, we can provide thoughtful structure and support children as they develop the skills that build confidence and trust in their own bodies. Language Shapes Our Intentions In Montessori, our language reflects our values. For example, we don’t talk about “toilet training.” Instead, we focus on “toilet learning” because children are learning how to care for their bodies within the cultural norms. We are not training behavior. We are supporting development. The same is true for sleep. Rather than “sleep training,” Montessori invites us to think in terms of supporting independent sleep skills. We help children learn how to settle their bodies, self-soothe, and eventually fall asleep independently, all skills they will rely on for the rest of their lives. Why Sleep Matters So Much Research continues to affirm that sleep is foundational. Healthy sleep supports brain development and learning, emotional regulation, physical growth and immune function, and memory and attention. During sleep, children’s bodies perform essential functions, including muscle growth, tissue repair, protein synthesis, and the release of growth hormones. Deep sleep stages are when the most restorative processes occur. 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And just as importantly, adults need support, too! Holding limits is much harder when we are sleep-deprived, so self-care is essential. Why Independent Sleep Is an Act of Care Babies naturally cycle through light and deep sleep many times each night. When they wake briefly between cycles, a child who knows how to self-settle can drift back to sleep without distress. Independent sleep skills: Reduce frequent night wakings Support early morning sleep Improve mood and learning Protect parents’ well-being Plus, poor sleep in infancy is linked to challenges later in childhood, including difficulties with emotional regulation and health concerns. Supporting sleep early is preventative care. A Closing Thought for Baby Sleep Day Supporting sleep is not about forcing independence. It’s about preparing the conditions so independence can emerge naturally, with confidence and trust. If you’re navigating sleep challenges, please know this: you don’t have to do it alone. Sleep is learned, supported, and refined over time (just like every other human skill!). We want to honor sleep not as a struggle to overcome, but as a vital rhythm to protect, for both our children and ourselves. If you are interested in learning more, schedule a visit here in Lenox today!

The Most Important Montessori Practice You Rarely Hear About

By Meagan Ledendecker • February 23, 2026

One of the quieter, less visible practices in a Montessori elementary classroom is the Child-Guide conference. You may never see it listed on a schedule or mentioned in a weekly update, yet it plays a profound role in children’s experience at school. Relationship Comes First The primary purpose of these conferences is to establish, maintain, and strengthen the relationship between the adult and each child. This focus shifts the dynamic from a teacher looking for faults or scolding about unfinished work. Rather, it’s a collegial conversation that enables children to take an active and engaged role in their own education. These connective conversations are grounded in relationship-building because when children feel emotionally safe and genuinely respected, they are far more willing to reflect, stretch themselves, and take responsibility for their growth. Every Child, as Often as They Need Montessori Guides aim to meet regularly with every child, but what “regularly” looks like can vary based on individual needs. Some children benefit from a longer, more formal conference every few weeks. Others need brief, frequent check-ins, sometimes lasting only a minute or two. These short moments might look like a quick conversation at the beginning of the morning, a gentle pause beside a table, or a quiet walk across the room together. The length of the meeting is not what matters. What is important is the message it sends: “I see you. I know your work. I care about how this is going for you.” What Happens in a Child-Guide Conference? While conferences vary based on each individual and the moment, they often include: The child bringing their learning journal or work (finished and unfinished) The guide bringing observational records A shared look at what has been accomplished Gentle reflection on what still feels unfinished Planning for what might come next Scheduling new lessons or presentations Support with larger projects: breaking them into steps, mapping timelines, imagining the finished product This collaborative time also provides an opportunity to experiment with new strategies (“Would you like to try creating a prioritized list?”), celebrate successes (“You worked so hard on your presentation! How did it feel to share your work?”), and reflect upon challenges (“It seems like you’ve been feeling a bit stuck in your research project. Tell me more about what is going on.”). Learning to Define “Finished” One of the most freeing lessons children learn in Montessori is that not every piece of work must be finished to an adult’s standard. Sometimes children accomplish exactly what they set out to do, and continuing would add nothing meaningful. Other times, interest has naturally ended, and letting go is healthy. This is not about lowering expectations. It is about honoring children’s internal sense of completion and learning when to release what no longer serves a purpose. Trusting Children’s Self-Assessment A cornerstone of these conferences is trust. Guides listen carefully to how children assess their own work and articulate their goals. When an adult truly accepts children’s self-assessment, something powerful happens: children begin to see themselves as capable, thoughtful, and worthy of being taken seriously. Children often receive more from the tone and sentiment of these meetings than from the actual content discussed. The Whole Child Matters Because Montessori education is concerned with the whole child, conferences may naturally move beyond academics. A Guide might gently offer support with social dynamics or ask about recent struggles during outdoor time. These moments provide a safe space for children to reflect on their own social, emotional, and physical development, and to recognize that there is a network of support. When Relationships Need Repair Even in the most thoughtful classrooms, relationships can become strained. What matters is how adults respond. It is never too late for a Guide to sit with a child and say, honestly: “I’ve been thinking about how we’ve been interacting recently, and I’d love to brainstorm with you about what I could do differently.” When an adult takes responsibility, without demanding the child do the same, something shifts. Trust begins to rebuild. Real dialogue becomes possible. Children learn from this modeling. In time, after they feel safe, they often step forward to take responsibility themselves. What Children Are Really Learning Through these quiet, intentional meetings, children learn that: their thoughts and feelings matter, adults can be trusted, mistakes are part of growth, reflection leads to independence, and relationships can be repaired. And while these conferences may happen quietly in a corner of the classroom, their impact echoes far beyond it. This is true preparation for life. To learn more about the long-term benefits of Montessori, visit us here in Lenox, MA!