Our Montessori Bookshelf: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence this Valentine’s Day

Meagan Ledendecker • February 12, 2024
black and white image of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. waving to the crowd gathered around the reflecting pool in Washington DC

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it’s a great time to highlight social-emotional skills. A great place to start is empathy. Showing care and compassion is critical in relationship-building and forming strong connections. The cornerstones of empathy are being able to understand and appreciate others’ perspectives and having a shared emotional response.


Books are a tremendous tool for helping our young people develop social-emotional skills. One analogy for why this is the case is how books can be mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors. When we see our lives reflected in the pages of a book, the book is like a mirror of our experience. When we view lives and stories that are different from our own, books are like windows that allow us to see new vistas. When we feel transported into the story and feel empathy for the characters, books become sliding glass doors that allow us to step into new worlds of understanding.


To celebrate the social-emotional opportunities this Valentine’s Day offers us, we are sharing some of our favorite books that cultivate emotional intelligence. We hope you can share them with your children and explore how they are like windows, mirrors, or sliding glass doors!

image of cover of the book Anh's Anger by Gail Silver, illustrated by Christine Kromer

Anh’s Anger

By Gail Silver, Illustrated by Christiane Krömer


Big emotional reactions can be hard to understand. This story helps illustrate how anger is just one part of us. If we can give that part the attention it needs, we can take care of the feeling rather than letting it control us. This story also shows the power of adults staying calm and controlled in the face of big feelings. Illustrated with handmade collages, the images create a textured representation of Anh’s experience. Note: Due to having the anger characterized as an external monster, this book is most appropriate for children aged five and up.

A Book of Feelings: Starring Sam, Kate, and Fuzzy Bean

By Amanda McCardie, Illustrated by Salvatore Rubbino


This story starts with two children, their dog, the love in their family, and the emotion of feeling happy. Then through the ups and downs of changes, arguments, loss, and more, we travel through a variety of emotions that emerge in children’s lives. Although the text and images are simple, the content moves into the complexity of what we can feel in our lives. The author shares some helpful questions to explore at the end of the book and an index identifies which pages highlight the different emotions: angry, cross, embarrassed, frightened, grumpy, happy, hurt, jealous, loved, loving, nervous, sad, shy, and upset. This is a book that can be revisited many times as children grapple with different feelings.

Image of the cover of the book A book of Feelings by Amanda McCardi, Illustrated by Salvatore Robbino
Image of the cover for the book titled A Book of Feelings: Starring Sam, Kate, and Fuzzy Bean, by Amanda McCardie, Illustrated by Salvatore Rubbino

A Book of Feelings: Starring Sam, Kate, and Fuzzy Bean

By Amanda McCardie, Illustrated by Salvatore Rubbino


This story starts with two children, their dog, the love in their family, and the emotion of feeling happy. Then through the ups and downs of changes, arguments, loss, and more, we travel through a variety of emotions that emerge in children’s lives. Although the text and images are simple, the content moves into the complexity of what we can feel in our lives. The author shares some helpful questions to explore at the end of the book and an index identifies which pages highlight the different emotions: angry, cross, embarrassed, frightened, grumpy, happy, hurt, jealous, loved, loving, nervous, sad, shy, and upset. This is a book that can be revisited many times as children grapple with different feelings.

Image of the cover of the book Because Brian Hugged His Mother by David L Rice, Illustrated by K. Dibble Thompson

Because Brian Hugged His Mother

By David L. Rice, Illustrated by K. Dibble Thompson


With one act of kindness at the beginning of the day, Brian initiates a domino effect of good feelings and actions. Each act leads to different kinds of positivity which then leads to more kind actions! This is a great book to share to counteract when children get caught up in a cycle of negative feelings and actions. The best part is how all the goodness returns (like good karma!) to Brian at the end of the day. And because Brian goes to sleep feeling loved, he wakes up feeling great, which sets up the day to start with another lovely act of kindness!

image of the cover of the book Bravo Anjalie by Sheetal Sheth, Illustrated by Lucia Soto

Bravo Anjali!

By Sheetal Sheth, Illustrated by Lucia Soto


All too often girls are navigating how to balance doing something well with being liked. In this story, Anjali is shining in a traditionally male space, which brings taunts and disdain from her closest friend. Fortunately, an older girl reminds Anjali to never dim her light which helps Anjali stay true to her passion. In the process, she inspires a younger girl to see what is possible. This story is also an excellent one to share to help children understand what can be behind unkind behaviors and how it is possible to make amends after not-so-great choices. 

Bravo Anjali!

By Sheetal Sheth, Illustrated by Lucia Soto


All too often girls are navigating how to balance doing something well with being liked. In this story, Anjali is shining in a traditionally male space, which brings taunts and disdain from her closest friend. Fortunately, an older girl reminds Anjali to never dim her light which helps Anjali stay true to her passion. In the process, she inspires a younger girl to see what is possible. This story is also an excellent one to share to help children understand what can be behind unkind behaviors and how it is possible to make amends after not-so-great choices.

Image of the cover of the book Bravo Anjali by Sheetal Sheth, Illustrated by Lucia Soto
Image of the cover of the book Let the Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall

Jabari Jumps

By Gaia Cornwall


With sweetness and simplicity, this book follows a young boy’s excitement and nervousness about jumping off a diving board. With support from his dad, Jabari works through some helpful tools for managing his feelings. The reassurance that it is okay to feel a little scared (plus ideas for how to help that feeling shift into something positive) is helpful for our little ones (and even for us as adults!).

A Friend Like You

By Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon, Illustrated by Kayla Harren


This celebration of friendships highlights the multifaceted nature of connecting with people and how we gain so much in the process. If you have young people in your life who are discovering what it means to make friends and, perhaps even more importantly, what it means to be a friend, this is a must-read. The vivid, diverse, and inspiring illustrations bring this book to life and also offer a vision of what is possible in this world!

Image of the cover of the book A Friend like you by Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon, illustrated by Kayla Harren
Image of the cover of the book A Friend like You by Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon, Illustrated by Kayla Harren

A Friend Like You

By Frank Murphy and Charnaie Gordon, Illustrated by Kayla Harren


This celebration of friendships highlights the multifaceted nature of connecting with people and how we gain so much in the process. If you have young people in your life who are discovering what it means to make friends and, perhaps even more importantly, what it means to be a friend, this is a must-read. The vivid, diverse, and inspiring illustrations bring this book to life and also offer a vision of what is possible in this world!

Image of the cover of the book Memphis, Martin, and the Mountaintop: The Sanitation Strike of 1968

Jabari Jumps

By Gaia Cornwall


With sweetness and simplicity, this book follows a young boy’s excitement and nervousness about jumping off a diving board. With support from his dad, Jabari works through some helpful tools for managing his feelings. The reassurance that it is okay to feel a little scared (plus ideas for how to help that feeling shift into something positive) is helpful for our little ones (and even for us as adults!). 

Image of the cover of the book Listening with my Heart by Gabi Garcia, Illustrated by Ying Hui Tan

Listening with my Heart: A Story of Kindness and Self-Compassion

By Gabi Garcia, Illustrated by Ying Hui Tan


So often children’s books focus on everything going right. Yet how we handle ourselves, including our self-talk, in the face of disappointments and mistakes is important for emotional regulation. This is a story of Esperanza’s day: from her excitement about her part in the play, to her awareness of spreading love and kindness, to her heartbreak when she feels like she’s ruined the play, to her realization that we also need to be loving and kind to ourselves. This story can be read again and again, during good days and days that stink. The resources at the end of the book are also incredibly valuable for helping our children develop self-compassion and positive self-talk.

Image of the cover of the book My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood by Tameka Fryer Brown, Illustrated by Shane W. Evans

My Cold Plum Lemon Pie Bluesy Mood

By Tameka Fryer Brown, Illustrated by Shane W. Evans


Navigating the ups and downs of family life can bring up all sorts of feelings. The shifting colors of one boy’s mood come to life in the jazzy prose of this book: from a gloomy gray when brothers get pushy, to gentle green from a little sister’s smile, to racing red to get home before dark. Despite the challenges, everything comes full circle as the family comes together. A bonus to this book is that the author is a Montessori mom!

Ruby Finds a Worry

By Tom Percival


This is a helpful picture book for young children who are struggling with any kind of worry or anxiety. The concept of a “worry” is materialized as a little fuzzy blob that grows over time and becomes ever-present for Ruby as she goes about her days. And the more Ruby worries about her worry, the larger it grows. Finally, Ruby encounters a boy sitting alone with his own worry. As Ruby and the boy express and share their worries, they realize that their worries shrink to the point of non-existence! Note: Due to having the “worry” externalized in a fantasy-based way, this book is best for children aged five and up.

image of the cover of the book Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival
image of the cover of the book Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival

Ruby Finds a Worry

By Tom Percival


This is a helpful picture book for young children who are struggling with any kind of worry or anxiety. The concept of a “worry” is materialized as a little fuzzy blob that grows over time and becomes ever-present for Ruby as she goes about her days. And the more Ruby worries about her worry, the larger it grows. Finally, Ruby encounters a boy sitting alone with his own worry. As Ruby and the boy express and share their worries, they realize that their worries shrink to the point of non-existence! Note: Due to having the “worry” externalized in a fantasy-based way, this book is best for children aged five and up.

Image of the cover of the book Sometimes I feel like a Mouse by Jeanne Modest, Illustrated by Robin Spowart

Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse: A Book About Feelings

By Jeanne Modest, Illustrated by Robin Spowart


Simple and straightforward, this picture book demonstrates feelings through similes. The text is large and clear with the emotion words highlighted in colors that coordinate with the feelings. This is a great introductory book for our younger children and helps set the stage for identifying and naming how we feel at different times.

When Sophie Gets Angry–Really, Really Angry…

By Molly Bang


This Caldecott Honor Book is a must-have. Molly Bang uses color and image to show the shift into surprise, hurt, and then intense anger at the unfairness of an interaction with a sibling. A volcano ready to explode, Sophie slams the door and runs straight into nature. It is here that cool colors begin to ease and soothe. She finds a place of calm that allows her to reenter her home with love. 

Image of the cover of the book When Sophie Gets Angry- Really, Really Angry... by Molly Bang
Image of the cover of the book When Sophie gets Angry, Really, Really Angry... by Molly Bang

When Sophie Gets Angry–Really, Really Angry…

By Molly Bang


This Caldecott Honor Book is a must-have. Molly Bang uses color and image to show the shift into surprise, hurt, and then intense anger at the unfairness of an interaction with a sibling. A volcano ready to explode, Sophie slams the door and runs straight into nature. It is here that cool colors begin to ease and soothe. She finds a place of calm that allows her to reenter her home with love. 

We hope these books offer you and your children new ways to explore the many aspects of our emotional lives. You can click here to download a printable booklist. We also invite you to schedule a tour to see how social-emotional learning is woven into the fabric of Montessori classrooms.

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If you've spent any time in a Montessori early childhood classroom, you've likely noticed the sandpaper letters on the shelf: elegant, tactile, traced by small fingers again and again. And if you've looked closely, you may have noticed something that surprises many families. Those letters are in cursive. In a world where most children learn to print first, Montessori's cursive-first approach raises questions. Why cursive? Why so early? The answers reach back to Dr. Maria Montessori's own careful observations of children, as well as forward to what modern neuroscience is now confirming about the developing brain. What Dr. Montessori Actually Observed Dr. Montessori was a meticulous observer of children, and her thinking about writing developed through years of direct experimentation. One of her core observations was that children naturally gravitate toward curved, flowing lines rather than the rigid, straight strokes that were (and often still are) the starting point for teaching print. She noticed this pattern across multiple contexts. When children who were learning to write began with rows of straight strokes, their attention would gradually drift, and the straight lines would slowly transform into curves, as if the child's hand were following its own natural inclination. And when children drew spontaneously by tracing figures in sand with a fallen twig, or scribbling freely on paper, they rarely produced short, straight lines. Instead, they made long, flowing, interlaced curves. Dr. Montessori paid attention. Rather than something random, she recognized the hand's natural motion expressing itself. Critical of standard teaching approaches that began with isolated geometric strokes, or regimented mark-making, Dr. Montessori saw that cursive script, with its connected, flowing letters, aligned far more naturally with the motions children were already making. It worked with the child's hand, rather than against it. The Neurological Case for Cursive Thanks to her keen observations, Dr. Montessori intuited benefits that research is now beginning to confirm. Modern brain science provides a compelling case for the value of cursive writing. This is especially powerful in early childhood, when the brain is forming the connections that will support reading, fine motor coordination, and cognitive development for years to come. Dr. William R. Klemm, writing in Psychology Today, summarized findings showing that learning cursive trains the brain to develop what researchers call “functional specialization,” or the capacity for optimal efficiency. Brain imaging studies show how multiple areas of the brain are activated simultaneously during cursive writing in a way that doesn't happen with typing or print. The integration of sensation, movement control, and thinking that cursive requires appears to support broader cognitive development in genuinely significant ways. Klemm also suggested that learning cursive trains the brain for more effective visual scanning, with potential benefits for reading speed and hand-eye coordination. In other words, the child who traces cursive sandpaper letters with their fingertips is developing neural pathways that support a wide range of future learning. Clarity, Beauty, and the Practical Benefits Beyond the neurological research, there are practical reasons that Montessori educators have observed over generations of practice. Cursive provides a better visual distinction between letters that are easily confused in print. Think about the pairs that trip up so many young learners: b and d, p and q. In cursive, these letters look different from one another, which reduces the visual confusion that causes so many children to struggle in the early stages of reading and writing. And then there is the matter of beauty, something Dr. Montessori took seriously in everything she prepared for children. She wrote that, in teaching writing, we should pay close attention to "the beauty of form" and "the flowing quality of the letters." Cursive handwriting, when developed well, is genuinely lovely. It is a form of penmanship that connects children to a long tradition of human expression through the written word. The Montessori approach treats handwriting as a craft worth caring about. What This Looks Like in the Classroom In a Montessori early childhood environment, the path to writing begins long before a child picks up a pencil. Practical life activities like pouring, spooning, buttoning, and lacing quietly help children develop the fine motor control and hand-eye coordination that writing requires. The sensorial materials train children’s pincer grip and refine the precision of small muscle movements. And the metal insets give children practice with the flowing, curved lines that build cursive letters. Then children begin using the sandpaper letters. While verbalizing the phonetic sound, children trace the letter with two fingers. Children feel the letter, produce its sound, and see its form. This multi-sensory experience engages multiple brain areas simultaneously and creates rich, layered associations that support both writing and reading development. By the time children are ready to write independently, they have been preparing their hand and mind for months, often without even realizing it. A Method Ahead of Its Time Dr. Montessori consistently arrived at insights that research has later confirmed. Her reasons for emphasizing cursive were rooted in direct observation of children. She watched children’s hands and their natural movements. She also looked to see what helped them and what created unnecessary struggle. Dr. Montessori wasn't following a trend or a theory. She was following the child. Decades later, brain imaging technology and developmental research are catching up to what Dr. Montessori saw. Flowing lines of cursive script, the sandpaper letters on the shelf, the careful preparation of the hand before children ever pick up the pencil. This is a deep and practical understanding of how children's minds and bodies actually work. For families curious about why Montessori makes this choice, the short answer is this: because children's hands already know how to make these movements. Montessori simply listens to what the hand is already telling us and builds from there. Visit our school in Lenox, MA and see the sandpaper letters and writing materials in action. We'd love to show you how the path to writing unfolds in Montessori.
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